I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
