I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
