Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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