btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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