I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
