You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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