Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
