Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
its not stalking. its research.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
