There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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