im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
