I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize