They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You ruined the universe
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
