Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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