and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
