North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize