I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
