shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i think im in europe. pls send help
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
