And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
