Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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