I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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