Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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