Already got asked if we're dating
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
