Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
