ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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