I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
