do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize