it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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