OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i already hear my dad disowning me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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