Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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