The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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