Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
