i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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