Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize