is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
