Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
sex in a hospital.. check
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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