Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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