I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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