guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
