I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
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Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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