you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
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I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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