I'm really into asian looking animals
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
