looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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