I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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