do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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