Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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