That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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