why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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