So drunk its hurt
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
