Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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