I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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