Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
