So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
