I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
