ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My dick has a subreddit
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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