I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
