Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize