and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
