i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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