i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
