and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
