Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
