she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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