she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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