i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am naked and annoyed.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
