Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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