i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
